As my oldest daughter turns four years old this week, I can’t help but look back and wonder where the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday that I was rocking her to sleep in my arms, and now I’m lucky if she’ll sit still with me for more than five minutes. (She’s such a busy girl with things to do!)
I know there was a time in my life when she didn’t exist yet; she was just a dream in the far-off future. But looking back, I can’t even remember a world without her in it. It’s as if she has always been here.
Being a first-time mom wasn’t exactly easy for me. I am a very routine oriented person with to-do lists and schedules. She didn’t exactly get the memo that she needed to fit into my routine. I was so very tired, and those first six weeks were like a blur – one big long day of nothing but dirty diapers and a fussy newborn.
I’m not entirely sure what I expected going into motherhood. Don’t get me wrong, I loved her madly; but she definitely rocked my world. Our worlds collided the day she was born. She knew my voice. She knew I was her mother, but we didn’t know each other yet. In a peculiar way, we were strangers who already loved each other. No other type of relationship compares to a mother and her new baby. It’s weird and amazing all at the same time.
And then it happened – she smiled at me. Our gazes met and we finally started to connect in a way we couldn’t before. We were far from the days of having our first real conversation, but it didn’t matter. She was my daughter, and I was her mother. It’s a bond that will never be broken.
I am so proud of the little girl she is becoming. She teaches me something new every day. She brings more joy to my life than I could have ever imagined.
Through all of the tears, tantrums, and dirty diapers – I love her more than words can describe.
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. – Psalm 127:3 (NLT)
As I ponder the relationship I have with my daughters, I can’t help but wonder if this is how God sees us as His children. When we first come to Christ, we know very little. We love God because of what He spared us from on the cross, but we don’t really know Him yet. We haven’t spent that much time with Him, and we haven’t had to rely on Him to get us through difficult times. Spiritually, we are infants.
And with all the patience in the world, God takes care of us. He nurtures us, rocks us to sleep, and deals with our tantrums and messes. He teaches us the basics, much like we do when we teach our children how to walk, talk, and eat with a spoon. Over time, with each scraped knee healed and broken heart restored, we grow closer to our Father than ever before. We learn that we can trust Him and rely on Him in every circumstance.
I am so thankful for my daughters and would do anything for them. I love them deeply, but it’s nothing compared to the love God has for us.
Thank you, God, for blessing me with my children and for allowing me to be a mother to them. Give me the opportunity to share your truth and love with them as they grow older. And help me to love them the way You love me.